2012, Really?

Do the Mayans have it right? Is the world going to end on December 21, 2012? Do we really care?

I've had the great pleasure of talking to quite a few people on this topic and the general consensus is no, we don't really care. Well, at least I don't care.

Folks, the Mayans had a calendar. It dealt with astrological events and, well, dates. But the calendar's time telling stops abruptly on 12.21.12. This has recently thrown some people into a tailspin. Apparently the end of the world is going to be worse than the predictions for Y2K. We won't need to stock up on duct tape (another of Dubya's shining moments) or canned goods and we won't be eating our household pets for protein. This is supposed to be the real, end-of-the-world deal.

Unfortunately the Mayan 2012 sentiment also pops up in other civilizations, so now the end of the world is a big conspiracy theory. Joy. Why are we just hearing about this now and not ten years ago. Oh. That was Y2K's territory, never mind. Do we get only one extinction level event per decade?

Know what I think? I think that 2012 is the boogey man. Those who know me also know that I don't put much stock in religion. Although the Mayans were a race of people and not just a religion, most of the other 2012 ideas are rooted in religion. So, therefore,they have no credence. They're just stories meant to keep people in line, especially bad little kids.

But I'm game. I'd stock up on Twinkies and beer. Not going to eat Rover, though, not even with barbecue sauce.

Some people are, however, genuinely scared. Those that care, I mean. They think the world really will end in 2012. I have to wonder if, the closer we get to d-day, are there going to be even more people in the streets with their heads covered in tinfoil screeching about the end being nigh? (Remind me to buy stock in Reynold's Wrap.)

I have questions, though:

• Is the world going to end on 12.21.12 00:01 Eastern or Pacific or are they going to air Maury first so I can find out if I'm the baby daddy (shut up, this is important stuff)?
• Are the aliens coming for us, and will crop circles become more and more widely reported? Related: Will sales of Reese's Pieces escalate?
• Will my Twinkies withstand whatever it is that's going to kill us?
• It's the Smoke Monster from Lost, isn't it?
• Are these snow storms, mudslides and fucked up weather patterns a precursor to 2012 or are they just El Nino? Or are they just really screwy weather patterns?
• Are hospitals going to be giving special awards to babies born at 12:21 on 12.21.12 like they do New Year's babies? If so, does only military time count?
• Was Nostradamus Mayan?

See, I'm not trying to trivialize people's panic (actually yes, yes I am), I just can't see how the world could possibly end in less than two years. (I did like the movie 2012, though.) Well, it could end if North Korea or Iran blows us out of our shoes. (That was worded wrong, I know it.)

I say forgeddiboudit.