SPAM!

Spam. It comes in a can and loosely resembles meat. I've been trolling the internet for years but lately I've come across a myriad of ways in which spam is offered by the Hormel company. Here are a few of the most... er... succulent varieties.

Spam Meat Spread. It looks like a cross between potted meat (which I've always called potty meat for obvious reasons) and deviled ham. (link goes to walmart.com)

Spam Oven Roasted Turkey. Oven roasted turkey. If you believe that, I have some land in Florida I can sell you... cheap. (link goes to walmart.com)

Spam Lite. For the health conscious among you who do not care what you put in your mouth. (link goes to walmart.com)

Hickory Smoke Spam. For, uh, whoever wants their canned meat flavored with a little bit of liquid smoke. (link goes to walmart.com)

25% Less Sodium Spam. Heart healthier? (link goes to amazon.com)

Spam with Cheese. The reviewers seemed to like this one, except for Mr. Chunky Monkey who asked "where's the cheese?" (link goes to amazon.com)

Spam Hot & Spicy. For those of you that like a little muy calliente with your lips and assholes. (Sorry, that's hot dogs, isn't it?) (link goes to amazon.com)

Spam Classic Singles. For those of you who, you know, live alone and don't want to open a whole can of Spam because you don't think you'll eat it before it becomes penicillin in your fridge. (link goes to amazon.com)

Spam with BACON. The holy mother of all Spam products. As Paula Deen (might have) once said "there's nothing a little bacon can't fix." (link goes to amazon.com)

Wikipedia alludes to the flavors black pepper and garlic, but I couldn't find any representatives of those for sale on the web. There was even a limited edition "golden honey grail" in honor of Monty Python's Spamalot. (these two links go to wikipedia.)

for your viewing pleasure: green eggs and Spam!