Tuesday, December 28, 2010

How To Survive A Blizzard Volume One

I feel for the folks on the east coast. As I sit here on the front porch in west Texas, no shoes, no coat, smoking a cigarette and writing a blog, most of the east coast is covered in snow. Not that I don't remember any of that... I did live in Pennsylvania for ten years. There was a huge snowstorm when I lived there and I remember being stuck at my friend Tina's house in Steelton, PA for about a week (not that it was a bad thing).

There are a few things that concern me when a big snowstorm is coming.

First of all, why do so many people buy bread and milk before the storm? What are you going to do with bread and milk? The power goes out and your milk goes bad, you're sitting there eating bread sandwiches.

My shopping list? Just the essentials:

  1. Beer. Always a fun beverage and, if the power goes out, you can stick your beer in the snow to keep it cold.
  2. Pizza. Ah, DiGiorno. Make mine pepperoni, please. I know, I know... I made a remark about the power going out. Here's the catch... Cook all of your pizzas BEFORE the power goes out. Cold pizza and beer go together real well. 
  3. Little Debbie's Swiss Cake Rolls. Except that, if they're in my house, they won't make it till the snow starts.
  4. Doritos. There is no hunger pang that Doritos won't cure.
And, while you're at it, stop at the ATM and get some spare cash. $20-$50 depending on the size of your sidewalk, driveway and car. Why, you ask? After a storm, there are always roving fellows looking for spare cash and they'll gladly shovel your driveway for some of that cash you remembered to get before the storm. Save your back, use your cash.

Me? I'm going to try and winter somewhere warm.

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