Thursday, August 18, 2011

Book Review: The Dying Times (The Survivor Chronicles) by Brian Kittrell

Book Review: The Dying Times (The Survivor Chronicles) by Brian Kittrell

I've been reading a lot of books on Kindle that are self published (and either low-cost or free) and I’ve had quite a few good reads. Unfortunately, this is not one of them. Post apocalyptic horror involving survivors and zombies is right up my alley, but this book is a real roadblock for my willingness to read self published work. This one is literally so bad, I didn't even read the last tenth of it. I just didn't care. 

From The Dying Times: Nadene's Story is the first book in a planned series of survival horror set in a post-apocalyptic world filled with flesh-eating undead zombies. It tells the story from the perspective of a 13-year-old girl who has been thrown from an uncertain world of divorce and dealing with the stresses of a single parent family to a world overtaken by a viral disaster which turns normal people into depraved creatures hellbent on destruction.

Yes, folks, there’s even a typo in the description. (Hellbent = hell-bent.) 

We're given a clue as to how bad this book might be when Mr. Kittrell gives us a "word from the publisher" (himself) followed by a "word from the author."

In my opinion, the major flaw of this book with regards to the description is that this story is not told from Nadene’s point of view. If it had been, it would have been at least mildly entertaining.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Honk If You Love Hay-Seuss

Folks, I make no secret of the fact that I do not believe in a god. My standard answer when I'm asked if I've found Jesus is "where was the last place you saw him?" If someone asks me if I'm born again, my reply is "I think I was born okay the first time."

People usually don't like those answers.

When they find out I do not believe in a god, their first response is usually "oh, so you're an atheist?"

Um. Not exactly. There are, after all, differing degrees of heathen-ism. If you say to me "Georgie, I'm a Christian,"I do not automatically assume that you're a Baptist. You could be a Branch Davidian for all I know. It does piss people off when I ask "what kind of Christian?" They don't like that.

Atheism is defined as the absence of belief that any god exists. Atheists do not think that God or Satan, Yaweh, Buddha, the Green Man, heaven or hell or anything else along those lines exists.

I am agnostic. There is a difference.

An agnostic is defined as "one who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a god." Agnostics do not think that God or Satan, Yaweh, Buddha, the Green Man, heaven or hell or anything else along those lines exists, but they allow the possibility that they might.

While I believe that the presence of a "supreme being" cannot be proved, I believe that the reverse is also true. The presence of a god cannot be disproved. Essentially, I'm a fence sitter.

Religion itself is very personal as well as completely confusing. In it's most innocent of forms, it is a comfort to those in need as well as (good) rules to live by. In it's most innocuous, wars are fought in it's name and innocents are slaughtered simply because their beliefs differ from those of the invading warlords.

I was raised Presbyterian. It wasn't until something (very personal) happened to me in the early nineties that I began to question the presence of a god. By the time I was thirty, I was sure that he (she/they/it) wasn't there. I'm not entirely convinced, because there are things that have happened to me that I cannot explain with the tools I possess. But, if I were to wake up one day confronted by proven knowledge that there is, in fact, a god, I can't honestly say I would get down on my knees and worship it. I haven't asked it for help in damned near twenty years, I sure don't need it now.

I do, though, envy faith. As in faith in a supreme being. It's something I can't say I've ever had. I sometimes think that there is something wrong with me because I can't just blindly trust in something that isn't tangible. Why can't I when so many others can?

It is, though, wrong to assume that those who claim a belief in the absence of a god do not know anything about religion. I and many like me study all religions (not just the one that the televangelist says is the right one). We're curious about it in all it's forms. Maybe some are like me and want to know what's wrong with them that they just can't simply believe like so many others can.

It wasn't until I discovered the internet (you hear that - I DISCOVERED THE INTERNET) that I began to find that I wasn't alone. There are chat groups, message boards and web sites dedicated to every branch of what I call heathen-ism (some people refer to themselves as infidels - ROCK ON!). I don't feel like a total minority of one anymore, and it's nice to see so many people being not only open but vocal about their beliefs. (Check out this list of famous atheists and agnostics. Some of these names may surprise you!)

I guess what I want to say is do not judge me by my cover. (I think that most gods say that you shouldn't judge anyone, anyway don't they?) Just because I believe differently than you does not mean that I'm wrong. I'm just not your kind of right.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Busting Out The Granny Panties

As a female, I have the absolute right to complain about my period. It's painful, disgusting and downright pisses me the fuck off. And, of course, it's not like dudes can ever really understand what it's like (just as I can never truly understand what it's like to get punched in the balls).

Anyway, I was sitting on the toilet a little while ago, well, doing what I do when I'm sitting on the toilet, and I began to think of all the euphemisms I know for getting my period. My two favorites are "falling off the roof" and "the monkey got a nosebleed" (thank you, Supah Jammy for that last little, er, nugget).

I actually have a funny story regarding "falling off the roof." You know (well, if you're a girl you know) that you can sort of tell when you're going to get your period? The cramps, the bloating, the little insignificant things that turn us into raging thunder cunts faster than Michelle Bachmann causes us to go WTF every time she opens her mouth. Well, picture this: I'm on the sofa with one of my former love slaves. It's the beginning of our relationship and we're doing some serious making out. I look at him all sexy like and say "come on, honey, let's go do it, cause I think I'm gonna fall off the roof tomorrow." Ok. Bad choice of words. He had no idea what I really meant, so he literally thought I was planning to fall off the roof. He was horrified. In fact, he was so horrified that he couldn't recover enough to give me the baloney pony that night. (And I was right about falling off the roof, so I didn't get any for the whole next WEEK!)

Anyway, once I got done with my bathroom business, I decided to google "euphemisms for getting your period," and found several gems that I consider my civic duty to pass along to you. They're here, after the jump.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Cover Me Part Deux

So, I've given you a list of my fifty favorite cover songs. Here's the list of my ten least favorites... in no particular order. 

Cover Me, Come On And Cover Me

Cover songs are a fact of life. Some people like them, some people don't. With the general public's attention span these days, it's possible for you to not even know that the song you liked on the radio last week might be a cover song.

What's a cover song, asks he who has lived under a rock for the last, oh, eighty years or so? A cover song is a recording that an artist (or a scumbag like Britney Spears) might make of someone else's previously recorded work. 

Can anybody make a cover version? Yes, and no. If you're thinking you might want to make a polka cover of the newest Justin Bieber song (in which case, your version will be a thousand thousand times more noteworthy than the original) you have to negotiate a license with the holder of the copyright for the original song. In some cases, the holder of the copyright isn't even the artist, those deals are made when contracts are signed between the music publishing companies, record labels or any one of a thousand other companies/agencies that get involved in the process of taking money from artists to be able to use their own work. (Gee, Georgie, bitter much? Why yes, yes I am. Too many up and coming musicians never read the fine print and manage to not only get fucked out of their money, but their own music.) In most cases, the copyright holder will need to be paid a "royalty" fee to obtain their permission for your cover. If the copyright holder doesn't like you doesn't want a cover made of their song, they have every right to say no (and some of them probably should have). Don't cry, just pick another song. After all, money talks.

Anyway, after the jump are fifty of my favorite cover songs. Please remember I said MY FAVORITE. I do not care if you do not like them, this is my blog. Go write your own.

Read 'em and weep. (All links go to YouTube.)

Sunday, August 7, 2011


My Grandma Mimi used to say "shit happens." She was right:

Book Review: Shady Bizzness: Life As Marshall Mathers' Bodyguard In An Industry of Paper Gangsters by Byron Williams

Book Review: Shady Bizzness: Life As Marshall Mathers' Bodyguard In An Industry of Paper Gangsters by Byron Williams

This book is a "tell-all" about life as a bodyguard for Eminem. It is a self-published book by a former employee. It's description from "Shady Bizzness" tell[sic] about real life events of his public and private lifestyle. The book details the good times, hardships, drug abuse, domestic violence, scandals, sex, near-death experiences, murder, oppression of employees and bitter betrayl[sic]." 

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