Sunday, August 7, 2011

Book Review: Shady Bizzness: Life As Marshall Mathers' Bodyguard In An Industry of Paper Gangsters by Byron Williams

Book Review: Shady Bizzness: Life As Marshall Mathers' Bodyguard In An Industry of Paper Gangsters by Byron Williams

This book is a "tell-all" about life as a bodyguard for Eminem. It is a self-published book by a former employee. It's description from "Shady Bizzness" tell[sic] about real life events of his public and private lifestyle. The book details the good times, hardships, drug abuse, domestic violence, scandals, sex, near-death experiences, murder, oppression of employees and bitter betrayl[sic]." 

I don't usually read these types of books, especially when they're written by former employees who might possibly be disgruntled. These people usually have something to prove and are often looking to mar a celebrity's public image. This is, however, about Slim Shady... who has done enough to ruin (or enhance?) his own reputation. And, I'm almost a Stan, so I had to read it. I got it for the Kindle and, in hindsight, I'm glad I did because I only wasted $2.99 on it. (That money would have been better spent buying fake dog shit, trust me.)

The book starts itself off on a sour note and sets the tone for the rest of the novel. (I'm calling it a novel, because the information that follows seems a trifle, well, engineered to me.) Mr. Williams begins his tale by telling us that he will eventually be accused of stalking Slim Shady (he refers to Mathers as "Marshall" maybe once and Eminem about as often), and lets us know that Slim has betrayed him. So we know already that this is going to be not much more than a vicious attack on Eminem. Mr. Williams has to defend himself against these allegations, after all. 

The book is mostly one long complaint. Mr. Williams doesn't think he is respected or paid well enough and, throughout the book, is constantly pleading his case to the reader. He doesn't think that the $1200.00 a week (!!!) that he makes justifies taking a leave of absence from his job at a GM plant in Michigan to travel the world as Eminem's bodyguard, leaving his wife and kids behind. I kid you not, this man complains about EVERYTHING. The food, the people, the management, the travel accommodations, his boss, his supervisors, his co-workers, even his poor wife. 

Though there are some interesting moments in this book, I highly doubt their authenticity. This is an extreme case of he said/he said and Mr. Williams seems hell-bent on making us feel sorry for him and telling us that Slim Shady, his management, his wife, his fans and pretty much everyone else are the devil. He does nothing but vilify the whole organization, all the while cursing like a sailor and talking about how he is God's servant. Debauchery, drug abuse and violence abound in this fantasy tale that is so full of grammar, syntax, spelling and structural errors that I think need to go read Nietzsche to regain the IQ points I so obviously lost reading this drivel

Do not buy this book. In fact, Mr, Williams, if you ever read this, I want my goddamned $2.99 back. I should have known never to have spent my money on this obviously fabricated, self-serving piece of total offal. 

On a zero to five scale with zero being the worst, this book gets ZERO STARS and is filed under "bullshit." It's so bad I'm not even going to link to the fucking thing. In fact, this review is infinitely more accurate, interesting and well written than that whole damned book.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Free Blogger Templates