Holy Shit, It's Monday

Good Lordy whoady, you must be gone off that water bottle. 


Found in the headlines today:

Mom convicted in son's jay walking death. Yeah. I had to read that twice, too. Ok. I'll break the article down for you. Mom and three kids got off a bus in Marietta, GA and, instead of crossing the street at an intersection, she took them across 3/10 of a mile from it. Some drunken redneck* ran over the four year old boy, killing him. (EDIT: I think I read that all of them got hit except for one girl that ran ahead, I could be wrong, though.) The drunken redneck served six months of a five year sentence for the hit and run. Mom was convicted of homicide by vehicle and reckless conduct and could get a 2.5 year sentence. This was also the drunken redneck's third hit and run. THIRD. Personally, I hold mom responsible. The whole three times I've been out in public and responsible for other people's kids, I've been paranoid about anything happening to them. I don't even drive the speed limit with kids in the car. But this woman already has to live with the death of her son on her hands. Taking her away from her surviving children for what will amount to six times the sentence the drunken redneck served is unacceptable. How can they even convict her of homicide by vehicle when she wasn't driving?

Knights Templar: In Mexico, Like Norway, Criminals Look To Past For Legitimacy. The breakdown: There is a Mexican drug cartel calling itself the Knights Templar, and they're using a moral "code of conduct" in their dirty drug dealings (which also include pillaging, raping and plundering - not to mention murder). Now they're saying that the dude that blew up Norway last week considers himself to be a Templar. What? Did Norway Dude have to whack ninety some people in order to protect Mary Magdalene the Holy Grail? And what does dealing the ganja have to with a medieval order that invented banking and strong armed anybody that pissed off the Catholic church? Not a goddamned thing, that's what.

Not related: It's raining again. Today is AWESOME!

Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy because they're using a model that looks like her in their new ad campaign. She's hoping to get $20 MILLION out of the lawsuit. Fu... what? For real? Is she going to sue Reggie Bush for fucking said look-alike? Want to know what I think about this? Really? Fuck a bunch of Kim Kardashian. And fuck anybody that wants to look like her. You think she's natural? Fuck no. I don't care about her stupid x-rays, her ass is as fake as Nicki Minaj's. Remember, this is a woman whose mother is married to Bruce Jenner, but is considering changing her last name back to Kardashian (her dead former husband that she divorced before he died's last name) just so she can cash in on... whatever the fuck they do for money. This is the second most fucked up family in America... right behind the Lohans.

Jesus. I get so bent out of shape over stupid people. But... without them, I'd have nothing to blog about.

In other news: Neil Patrick Harris is on the Daily Show tonight. Real must watch tv.

In other, other news, walmart.com wanted me to write a review for the lap top fan I bought this month, but their stupid form thinger wouldn't let me submit it. Fuck you, walmart.com. Fuck you.

*I embellished the redneck part, but dude was actually (and admittedly) drunk and high on prescription painkillers.