The Georgionnic Plague

I've been sick for about a week, joking that I have the plague. Not very funny from a historical standpoint, but funny all the same. I figured you might like to know the symptoms.

• Alternating chills and hot flashes, not unlike menopause. I call this symptom "socks on, socks off."
• The truck symptom or feeling like I got hit by one, anyway. My ribs hurt from coughing.
• Reverse Rip VanWinkle. Try to sleep with this cough.
• Insta-Plague-O-Matic. Sneezing. Sharing the love one person at a time.
• Drooling. This one is the "Dopey" syndrome. When I can sleep, I drool like an idiot.
• Puddle-mania. Or coughing. Whenever I have a coughing fit, I make a puddle.
• Junk Food Frenzy - wanting nothing to eat but honey buns and chicken cup-o-noodles
• Ugh. The ugh symptom occurs whenever I see myself in the mirror
• The last and probably the worst is Pig Pen syndrome. Just like the lovable character from Peanuts... Ew.

So, be careful folks. If you experience these symptoms, you have probably been in contact with a plague bearer.